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I am 41 years old and weight at this moment 91 kilos, being only 5"1 tall it shows alot.

I started dieting at the age of 10. By starving myself I lost the weight as im a very determined person even at that age. But I have always had the problem of not keeping it off. I done this sort of thing through out my life always being successful and always putting it back on.

Not having a very supportive family as they are all thinner than me and always have been, well they dont understand very much the pain i go through all the time. The one person I wanted to be proud of me was my mum and all the time i only got her saying . . .    I think you can stop now , you have lost enough. I love my mum very much and out of us 4 kids I was the youngest and the only one that was adopted. I saw her the most ,5 days out of the week and she looked after my son from when he was 2 so I could work.

Anyway last year I finally was getting on the right track as now I dont diet anymore I change my eating habits for life. I got down to 83 kilos and was starting to feel better about my self .

Then on january the 17th I was dropping my son off at mums as usual so I could go to work to find that she had died through the night of a heart attack. My wonderful mum was gone and the pain is so hard to bear I feel so lost and its broken my heart. I went from not eating for a week after she died to eating until i feel ill and not being  awear half the time that Im doing it.

Please help 

 

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Hi Louloufairy,

Welcome to FOH. So sorry to hear about your loss. We'll do eveyrthing we can to help you meet your goals. We're a very supportive bunch so please post your questions anytime you like.

Once again welcome.

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AK

It's an old world out there and I'm glad I was part of it!

Thanks for your nice welcome, it will take me a bit of time to get back into the swing of this all again and im hoping it will be the last. Its nice to be able to talk to people who are in the same boat and to get some good advice.

thanks again

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Hi LouLoufairy,

welcome to the group, I'm sure you'll find the members very supportive.

Why don't you pick one new healthy habit to focus on this week.  It could be going for a half hour walk every day, or making sure you eat something for breakfast.  Whatever you choose just concentrate on making that change for this week and then next week you can add another.  Before you know it you'll be living the healthy life without even realising!

harri

 

 

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HW: 97+ kg
SW: 73.3kg
CW: 67kg
GW: 63kg

Hi and welcome.

My heart goes out to you in your loss. I've been there on that one. My mum died when I was 26 and then my dad about 10 yrs ago. I'm 47 now. It's tough but you will get through it.

For the first 10 years, I didn't speak or think too much about it, I just couldn't deal with it. Incredible to me now to think about that... 10 years is a long time, but when I was ready I came to terms with it .

I don't think of her as often as I would like, when I do it is with fond and heart warming memories.

I was standing behind an old-ish lady just yesterday in a store and the thought crossed my mind she could easily have been my mum.

I wish ... but it was not to be. I have to thank her for the strong woman she moulded me to be.

Good luck on your weight loss journey.

Tought times ahead but you will get there, even though at times you think you won't.

 

Thanks for telling me it does help as when things like this happen you think your the only one it happens too. I think about her all the time, sometimes i cant see past that but i still want her to be proud of me even if she is not here .

I know it will be hard and my life will change anyway because she was a huge part of my life.

i want my life to change and the first is really this here now, ive always done the weight thing all by myself well i need help and after all these years i can say it.

thanks

lou

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Dear Lou,

I lost my Mom 5 1/2 years ago and it was devastating. But before she died, she told me not to be sad, because even if she was gone, she would still be with me, because we were best friends and that really helped me. I think, one of the sad things for you, is that you didn't get a chance to say goodbye and tell her how you felt about her. But, Lou, your Mom will know and watch over you, from where ever she is, trust me!

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Hi Lou,

I lost my dad a couple of years ago.  For a year I found myself thinking of him and feeling tears in my eyes, then willing them away because I was at work or around my son and didn't want to be crying.  After a year or so of just existing, I got to the emotional point tht I can best descibe as a full cup of water.  One drop of water in it and it would all spill over, so I cried about everything, my job, tv ads, kids stories, any sad thoughts.  The expression 'the cup runneth over' was me and my emotions.

A woman I worked with lent me the audiobook CDs for 'Tuesdays with Morrie' and I listened to this story of a man with a terminal illness and his student that visits him each Tuesday and took notes about the mans outlook of living so close to death.  I listened on the train andwould be blinking back tears but it was a refreshing and uplifting story.  When it ended, I sat in my car (it was nighttime) and had a huge cry and I didn't care if anyone walked past (don't think anyone did).  I really gave crying my all and howled out a lot of those swallowed back tears.  From there, I got better.

Now I find that I don't treat things that I used to give emotional attachments to, quite the same.  I no longer 'feel' like a cigarette and I gave up smoking straight after dad passed on.  I don't 'feel' like eating chocolate.  I save my feelings for the people I love.

I don't know if this has helped at all, I hope you're moving through the grief and can find some peace.  Sometimes I dream of dad and in my dreams I'm so glad he came to give me a visit, altho it means missing him all over again when I wake up, I'm still glad to see him.

Try to get out and walk every day if you can.  Remember the things that you enjoy doing the most, the special things that you do well, and make some time to spend doing that.  Spend some time with people that make you smile.

Take care,

Lorna.

 

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SW: Aug08 - 103.8kgs
CW: 95.8kgs (lost 8kgs)
GW: 79kgs by Mar09

What can I say! All of you are a lovely bunch of people and Im glad that I have found this site.

There is a lot of people out there that either dont say anything back when I try to let go a bit with what is going on inside me or they just avoid me because they dont know what to say .

thankyou all for telling me your stories and how you all have coped in your own ways. I hope I havent  got any of you upset by bringing up your grief. I still smoke but have cut down  a lot and I hope to give up soon.My dreams are filled with my mum so much that I wake up and I remember every detail like it really happened. One thing that has changed since is that for once in my life I dont care what people think of me I know Im a nice person and fat or thin I will never change probly only be more excepting of myself and of course healthier.

so thankyou and I hope to keep in contact with you all

Lou

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I dont care what people think of me I know Im a nice person and fat or thin I will never change probly only be more excepting of myself and of course healthier.

This is a major thing. What you think of yourself impacts every other aspect of your life. And you're dead right .. who cares what everyone else thinks. At the end of the day, there is only one person looking back in the mirror at you and that's the person who's opinion matters most.

LouLoufairy:

What can I say! All of you are a lovely bunch of people and Im glad that I have found this site.

There is a lot of people out there that either dont say anything back when I try to let go a bit with what is going on inside me or they just avoid me because they dont know what to say .

thankyou all for telling me your stories and how you all have coped in your own ways. I hope I havent  got any of you upset by bringing up your grief. I still smoke but have cut down  a lot and I hope to give up soon.My dreams are filled with my mum so much that I wake up and I remember every detail like it really happened. One thing that has changed since is that for once in my life I dont care what people think of me I know Im a nice person and fat or thin I will never change probly only be more excepting of myself and of course healthier.

so thankyou and I hope to keep in contact with you all

Lou

Lou

Welcome to FOH and story to hear about your mum.   lost my dad 3 years ago and i still feel the pain of his loss like it was yesterday.  We are all here for you if you want to talk and need a shoulder to cry for you.  Remember your mum is always with you ( i really do believe that).

Allie

Thanks izzy for what you said its taken all these years to see how right you are , but I have never been happy being big .I suppose a lot of people feel that way, but it has never stopped me all these years putting the weight back on after I have lost it.I have too try and figure that one out hey.

Thanks Allie I know mum is right here beside me, and thanks might need that shoulder sometime.

Lou

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Have you thought about stating a journal?

 It may really help, not just with your weight goals but also on the emotional journey ahead.

Writing things down really helps to clarify what you are thinking. Even if you do it privately if you prefer.

I might try that and see how it goes, I must say there is a million things that go through my mind.

Thanks

Lou

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